Just like the SATs.....

Today's soup is an SAT prep lesson:

Jessica is to Ashlee as Michael is to......

a) football
b) Virginia Tech
c) Marcus
d) none of the above

The correct answer is C, and if you said anything else then you are stupid.

You see, both Marcus and Ashlee are the less famous and clearly less talented younger siblings of Michael and Jessica. Both Michael and Jessica had to work *relatively* hard to get to where they are today, nor did they get by on their last name legacy alone. They didn't have siblings who knew the business, had contacts or even millions of dollars to help them.

Both Jessica and Michael have talent. They had the drive to succeed and, in Jessica's case, a creepy boob-grabbing ex-minister father/manager to help.

On the other hand, Ashlee and Marcus already have their path to success paved. The only missing element.....is talent and common sense.

Let's breakdown their careers:

Ashlee:

• Starred in the MTV bomb, The Ashlee Simpson Show
• Dated Ryan Cabrera (a ziggga zaa)
• Got boo'ed after a hideous performance during the Orange Bowl
• Got busted lip-syncing on SNL
• She collapses due to exhaustion in Japan
• Gets drunk and causes a scene at McDonalds

Marcus:

• Arrested and charged with four misdemeanors (allowing the underage girls to have alcohol and allegedly having sex with a 15-year-old.)
• Charged with reckless driving and possession of marijuana
• Suspended from the university for the 2004 season
• Flicks off WVu fans who have been calling him names related to past problems throughout the game (which I applaud!)
• Pulled over by police in Hampton for driving 38 mph in a 25 mph zone and driving with a suspended license.
• Is kicked off team at Virginia Tech for legal trouble and unsportsmanlike conduct in Gator Bowl
• Arrested and charged with three counts of brandishing a firearm

So Marcus and Ashlee, just stop now. You aren't really famous and you're not any good.