People who don't like cake are assholes

Today a wise man named Bill said to me, "People who don't like cake are assholes". I agree, Bill, I agree. How can someone NOT like cake?

Cake comes in many varieties, so you can't say you don't like the flavor. Cake also come in many textures, so you can't say you don't like the consistency. Cake also come in many shapes and sizes, so that is a poor excuse too.

Although I don't think I have ever met someone who doesn't like cake, I'd be interested in hearing the rationale of the haters. However, regardless of your feelings on the matter if you hate cake you are, and always will be, an asshole.