"is that what the kids are calling [you] these days?"

Welcome to the first of what hopefully will become a frequent joint venture between Borrowing (and causing) t-r-o-u-b-l-e and The Soup du Jour.

So, we never really call anyone (at least when referring to them in [slanderous] conversation) by their real names. Everyone has a nickname and, for some reason, they always seem to stick, no questions asked. The inspiration behind some of these names has long since been forgotten, but the name--and legend--lives on. Sometimes, if you're lucky, the names are based in love/like. But, more often that not, not so much.

Sometimes the names come about from certain events where the person was present (I will never live down Pooponya...shortened to, you guessed it, Poop). Other times, it is because of a characteristic (whether beyond the person's control or not) the person has (sup, Brown Sara). Sometimes, it's because of a misunderstanding (hey, Nick the Granite Guy). And sometimes, it's just because (Asshole--fits several individuals interchangeably). Sometimes, because they are so "worthy," individuals have more than one nickname, the one you use chosen based on that day's/hour's/minute's specific transgression(s) (Sweenie, Morris the Cat, Effer). More often than not, the individuals are unaware of their pseudonyms. Thank God.

So, you already know

Nick the Granite Guy and
Brown Sara

And you've met, through our blog links,

Uncle Danny

We'd like to introduce you to:

My favorite "cousin"
Abu Shekha
Mean Uncle
Her rainbow husband
HAB
Monochrome
W.T.F. T.O.T.
Sketchy Eddie
Car Wash Gary
Rizzle Jizzle, Jizzle Mizzle and Rizzle Mizzle (aka Rom Stizzle or Rom Steezy)
Tom Dildo
JRizaradSK8gal
Habib Marwan
Tommy Tow Truck
Chico
Larry
Hua Mei the Baby Panda
Squeaky
Aunt Danny
Our white cousin
Belinga (Bling Bling)

The joy of having the two of us write this is that you don't know who made which nickname contributions. This is sure to be (oh we hope we hope we hope) kind of like "Missed Connections" on craigslist...you're going to think/hope/wonder if the person being spoken of is you or someone you know. In this case, you probably better hope that it's not. We're not mean, really. We're just...convenient.